The idea to coming back East has been in my mind ever since I was about 12 and our family took a vacation up and down the eastern seaboard. I saw first hand how much less expensive the east can be. Now there are expensive places here and there but nothing when you compare it to California.
With my graduation from college looming I was looking to start a better life for myself and my girlfriend at the time. I had both of our thoughts in mind when making such a brash and somewhat drastic decision. Although she may never feel or see it that way, my heart was in the right place. I accepted this job because I knew it could provide me all of us with a better life. I was living paycheck to paycheck scraping by to make things work while supporting all that were involved. Coming here meant everything from rent, to food, to gas was cheaper while I would be maintaining my same salary as I did in CA.
They say everybody is looking for the American Dream, where you marry the girl of your dreams, buy the house with the white picket fence and live happily ever after. To be honest that is what I was looking for when I came here. I was hoping to marry and settle down with the girl I loved. However there is not marriage at the end of this story, fate as I would know it has a different plan. A plan that I think is the best plan in the world and could never have asked for anything more.
Although I never found the American Dream, I found out more things about myself and life then I ever could have if I had stayed in CA. It sucks that I had to find this 2500 miles away from friends and family but I swear that I have no regrets on what I have done and encourage everybody to take a leap of faith and get out of their comfort zone. For years upon years I have been a slave to the workforce just trying to make that extra buck to support people who may not have supported me. I have tried to make the most money possible because that is what society expects us to do. If you are not rich then you are not really considered. If you have no job you are looked down upon and your life just becomes that much harder.
So here I am on my last Sunday in Pittsburgh sitting in the coffee shop where everybody knows my name and can pretty much have my drink ready for me by the time I come in. This has become my second home, a place I visit every day and sometimes multiple times a day. I have spent more money supporting this coffee shop then any other place I have been.
I had no idea what to expect when I stepped off that plane the day after Christmas, when I found myself suddenly very alone and in the biggest city I had ever lived in. I would have never imagined what would be in store for me in the upcoming months nor would I have ever imagined how my life would change. they say big changes can be scary and I will be the first to admit that. But changes are also something we need in our lives to keep going. We need change and we need to be challenged. Life is not easy and I have come to terms with that. I have had a great upbringing and consider myself lucky but being out here on my own has made me realize not only how precious life is but how much we need to value life itself more.
i have decided to leave like most of you have ready already because things in life do not always turn out the way we hope them to. Not to say my American Dream is dead, it is just on the back burner for a while. Only letters sent by a friend and the many phone calls from family was what kept me going. Sure I could have just given up, packed my bags and said screw it and taken the next flight out.
But I saw this as a learning opportunity, a lesson that life does in fact suck sometimes and yet we still have to live it. We can't give up on ourselves every time something happens, otherwise we would be giving up everyday. I have learned that yet life is not fair, we are the only ones that can make life what it is. Sure we can have help from family and friends but yet we live our own lives, we are the keeper of our dreams, our aspirations and our loves. Only we can make our lives what they are. We can't give up on ourselves because if we do, we are giving up on others that care about us.
So after 6 months I figured out that it was time to live for myself, and if someone comes along fantastic, if not, such as life. I have decided after 11 years to ditch the Textbook Industry in search of what I was meant to do with my life. I have compassion that will fill a ballroom and a heart I like to think is bigger then most. Helping American youth is something that I want to do. I have a degree in Liberal Arts because I wanted to be a teacher. Yet teaching for just 8 hours while students read out of a book and prepare for tests is not helping. You are there babysitting and your job is always on the line if the test score goes below what it should be. So I am hoping to work in a group home, volunteer at an after school program and get my name out there. I am moving back to Sacramento to be closer to friends and family and start my life over again. Start the life I want to live and not live the life somebody else wants or expects me to live.
So what I am trying to say as I close in on my last week here is that life is to short for us to worry about what other people want us to do or what we should be doing. Only we can live our lives and we need to live them to the fullest. So as I leave the steel city and the city to have two championship teams in the same year I am very blessed to have this experience because if none of these life events had taken place who knows what would have happened. Who knows where I would be or what I would be doing. It was not easy to come this far but I am so grateful to everyone who has supported me here. I could never have done it without you. I am blessed to have the family and friend support I have and and am once again looking forward to coming home.
Thank you Pittsburgh for the memories and life lessons you have taught me. Heartache is nothing to sneeze at but sometimes we have to have heartache to find happiness.
HELLO CALIFORNIA
