Alex took the what are you born to do? quiz and the result is hero
now we are not talking bout becoming a super hero... but you were born to help others and put others in front of your needs. you are caring and that is your biggest strength you will do really well in those field where you have to help others like social worker or doctor...options are many
So I took the above quiz and answered things as honestly as I could and low and behold, I am supposed to be a Hero. I have never once considered myself a hero and as most of you know who read this, have always put others needs ahead of my own. Never once taking anything for granted. I have lived I think to help others as I was helped when I was first born. Let me just say now that I will never be rich in terms of large sums of money laying around my house. people in the health care industry with the exception of doctors and top notch nurses do not get paid probably what they should. But does that really matter? Should we really be choosing jobs just because they can earn you a big paycheck and exotic vacations? I am sure that would be nice and for some that maybe all they need in life. Yet I am feeling like I can do more good with less money.
I have decided to pursue becoming a EMT as my next career choice and eventuly would love to become a paramedic and either work on a care flight or in a ER. Emergency rooms have always held my attention span and I feel that with my caring personailit and my ability to interact with all kinds of people in many different situations that this really would be best occupation for me. This is something that I am very excited about and really can't wait to get started. I am very much looking forward to making this work and seeing it through to the end.
I guess i just got lost being someone else, I tried to kill the pain But nothing ever helped I left myself behind Somewhere along the way Hoping to come back around and find myself some day
Lately I'm so tired of waiting for you To say that it's OK, tell me please Would you one time, Let Me Be Myself So i can shine, with my own light Let Me Be Myself
Would you Let Me Be Myself Coz I'll never find my heart Behind someone else I'll never see the light of day Living in this cell It's time to make my way Into the world i knew And take back all of these times That I gave in to you
Lately I'm so tired of waiting for you To say that it's OK, tell me please Would you one time, Let Me Be Myself So i can shine, with my own light Let Me Be Myself, For a while If you don't mind, Let Me Be Myself So i can shine, with my own light Let Me Be Myself
That's all i ever wanted from this world Was to let me be me..
Please, would you one time, Let Me Be Myself So i can shine, with my own light Let Me Be Myself Please, would you one time, Let Me Be Myself So i can shine, with my own light Let Me Be Myself, For a while If you don't mind, Let Me Be Myself So i can shine, with my own light Let Me Be Myself
Do you ever wonder or think about your Chinese sign (the animal that relates to the year you were born according to the Chinese calendar) or do you ever think of your astrology sign, whether or not it is a Taurus or Sagittarius for example.The wording that comes with this and how it relates to our lives is what I find to be fascinating and sometimes dead on.
Well I came across this card the other day that had my birthday “Date” on it and I wanted to share the inside with all of you because I feel it describes me dead on.How the day you were born can alter who you are or who you become is something that has always fascinated me.
So I was born on the 26th and below you will find all the information that pertains to be being born on this date, if you read this and you know me, I hope you will see what I am talking about and how being born on this particular date has shaped my personality and beliefs.Pretty Interesting.
My Platinum Personality:
“If you were born on the 26th of any month, you are a master of organization and fully capable of carrying out the general plans and ideas your fertile mind devises.Your steadfast, resolute personality is in command of every mission you assume.Highly intelligent, with strong leadership abilities, you are never content in a subordinate position and usually find a way to have your own business.Your insistence on quality is complemented by your natural “buyer’s eye.”Your strong humanitarian leanings make you ever ready to lend a help”
And that is my date, the day I was born on and my untold life story.
So I am not sure what happened in Pittsburgh, there was a huge transformation that took place that I really can't explain. I suppose leaving on a whim to a frozen city in the dead of winter and not knowing anybody at all can do that to a person. But each day I am in CA, I thank god that I took that step and have no regrets about doing it. I look back with fond memories of some great people I met in such a beautiful city, but all of that does not compare to what happened to me internally and my new outlook on life. I used to be a shy, insecure young adult who was worried more about what people thought then what I thought. Why do we worry so much about such petty stuff. Why is it that we worry more about wearing the wrong shirt out then sometimes anything else. I did start to gain some confidence in college, running without a shirt on (may seem pretty small to most people who read this) was the start of it all maybe. When you have something wrong that most people notice, they tend to gravitate towards that first. So as a child growing up I would swim/run/pretty much everything and anything I did with a shirt on. I guess the self consciousness in all of us tends to take over our lives at some point as we try to blend into certain groups in HS and College, we pick sides more or less and that is where we stay sometimes even taking that thought process into our adult lives.
Well moving 3,000 miles away from anybody you know will def. make you grow up faster. you have to fend for yourself and do everything pretty much on your own. There is really nobody there to help you and when I found myself getting off a plane in the dark of winter with two suitcases I realized I better grow up fast. And grow up I feel I have as I now have a huge confidence boost and a new outlook on life. No more worrying about the small stuff in life, I used to work 60+ hours a week in various jobs I have held over the years. For what? you get the piad the same as if you worked 40 and the only person you are hurting is yourself. Life is just to short and precious to be worrying about work all day. Believe or not but you are not living if you are working all the time and suddenly have no time for friends or family.
On the flip side of that coin, no longer can you worry about what others think of you, as hard as that might be. You are who you are and nobody but yourself can change that. Plus why would you want to change? You can't change others and they for sure can't change you. I no longer carry this burden of what people might think about this or that and because of this new found feeling I feel that I am happier and very much more optimistic about the future. Life is really what we make it out to be, only we change the course we take. I have come to terms with this and have planned out my life or at least put it on the pat I wish to take to make it better. I am a simple person who likes the simple things in life. I am very optimistic, sincere and a all around great guy. This is who I am, either you like me or you don't but I can't worry about that anymore as I can't change who I am and I am proud now, more so then ever to be who I am.
With that all being said, all I want to convey is that you need to live the life you want and never settle because someone told you that it might be a good idea. Only you can make that decision and you need to live with the outcome. I now for 100% sure have the idea of what I am looking for in a mate, the plans to succeed in my life, even though I am off to a rocky start and most importantly I have the confidence to make my life what I want it to be. The end has not been written yet and there are still plenty of chapters to write about.
"Faster, Higher, Stronger" YOUR LIFE IS ONLY AS GOOD AS YOU MAKE IT OUT TO BE!!
When you look at the above pictures you can not help but look at the true beauty of this place. I am not really a religious person but on my trip in July to Arizona, we stopped by this church out in the middle of the now where south of Tucson and I could not help but feel something about this place. It was very inspiring and impressive at the same time. I just felt this connection that honestly I have never felt before. Something about a little white church with wooden pews and grand architecture that really brought out the charm.
When you look at this place, you can't help but notice that A: it has been around for a very long time and B: it apears that it is not going anywhere anytime soon. It is in essence a very stable place that is still used to this day as a working church that has brought a whole small community together. It is this stability that I wish to talk about because twice now I have been told in so many words that I am not stable. Yes I have moved around in the last 5 years, maybe 6 or some could say ever since I left HS. Yet in those times of moving, I have managed to take care of others, putting them on my backs and carrying them as much as I could. I have moved some of those times to make life better for those around me. Yet they may have never understood that and I am sure I did not explain it well enough at the time but two of my moves have been not for myself but for those around me. I was given the opportunity to make our lives better and I took the higher road, for reasons things have not worked out but I can't look back at that anymore. We have all made choices that I am sure we wish we could change, but I really believe that every choice we make takes us to where we are today.
We will never know why things happen they way they do, but just because one person moves around, does not mean they are unstable. Yes I may not know what I really want, I may have taken risks that may or may not have panned out the way I wanted but that is why I keep going. And perhaps taking risks in life is why I move and try new things, if we don't try new things we or NEW PLACES , we may never know if we like them or not. Some things work out for the best while others don't pan out the way we wish they would. That is life, all we can do is pick up and move on..........
The idea to coming back East has been in my mind ever since I was about 12 and our family took a vacation up and down the eastern seaboard. I saw first hand how much less expensive the east can be. Now there are expensive places here and there but nothing when you compare it to California.
With my graduation from college looming I was looking to start a better life for myself and my girlfriend at the time. I had both of our thoughts in mind when making such a brash and somewhat drastic decision. Although she may never feel or see it that way, my heart was in the right place. I accepted this job because I knew it could provide me all of us with a better life. I was living paycheck to paycheck scraping by to make things work while supporting all that were involved. Coming here meant everything from rent, to food, to gas was cheaper while I would be maintaining my same salary as I did in CA.
They say everybody is looking for the American Dream, where you marry the girl of your dreams, buy the house with the white picket fence and live happily ever after. To be honest that is what I was looking for when I came here. I was hoping to marry and settle down with the girl I loved. However there is not marriage at the end of this story, fate as I would know it has a different plan. A plan that I think is the best plan in the world and could never have asked for anything more.
Although I never found the American Dream, I found out more things about myself and life then I ever could have if I had stayed in CA. It sucks that I had to find this 2500 miles away from friends and family but I swear that I have no regrets on what I have done and encourage everybody to take a leap of faith and get out of their comfort zone. For years upon years I have been a slave to the workforce just trying to make that extra buck to support people who may not have supported me. I have tried to make the most money possible because that is what society expects us to do. If you are not rich then you are not really considered. If you have no job you are looked down upon and your life just becomes that much harder.
So here I am on my last Sunday in Pittsburgh sitting in the coffee shop where everybody knows my name and can pretty much have my drink ready for me by the time I come in. This has become my second home, a place I visit every day and sometimes multiple times a day. I have spent more money supporting this coffee shop then any other place I have been.
I had no idea what to expect when I stepped off that plane the day after Christmas, when I found myself suddenly very alone and in the biggest city I had ever lived in. I would have never imagined what would be in store for me in the upcoming months nor would I have ever imagined how my life would change. they say big changes can be scary and I will be the first to admit that. But changes are also something we need in our lives to keep going. We need change and we need to be challenged. Life is not easy and I have come to terms with that. I have had a great upbringing and consider myself lucky but being out here on my own has made me realize not only how precious life is but how much we need to value life itself more.
i have decided to leave like most of you have ready already because things in life do not always turn out the way we hope them to. Not to say my American Dream is dead, it is just on the back burner for a while. Only letters sent by a friend and the many phone calls from family was what kept me going. Sure I could have just given up, packed my bags and said screw it and taken the next flight out.
But I saw this as a learning opportunity, a lesson that life does in fact suck sometimes and yet we still have to live it. We can't give up on ourselves every time something happens, otherwise we would be giving up everyday. I have learned that yet life is not fair, we are the only ones that can make life what it is. Sure we can have help from family and friends but yet we live our own lives, we are the keeper of our dreams, our aspirations and our loves. Only we can make our lives what they are. We can't give up on ourselves because if we do, we are giving up on others that care about us.
So after 6 months I figured out that it was time to live for myself, and if someone comes along fantastic, if not, such as life. I have decided after 11 years to ditch the Textbook Industry in search of what I was meant to do with my life. I have compassion that will fill a ballroom and a heart I like to think is bigger then most. Helping American youth is something that I want to do. I have a degree in Liberal Arts because I wanted to be a teacher. Yet teaching for just 8 hours while students read out of a book and prepare for tests is not helping. You are there babysitting and your job is always on the line if the test score goes below what it should be. So I am hoping to work in a group home, volunteer at an after school program and get my name out there. I am moving back to Sacramento to be closer to friends and family and start my life over again. Start the life I want to live and not live the life somebody else wants or expects me to live.
So what I am trying to say as I close in on my last week here is that life is to short for us to worry about what other people want us to do or what we should be doing. Only we can live our lives and we need to live them to the fullest. So as I leave the steel city and the city to have two championship teams in the same year I am very blessed to have this experience because if none of these life events had taken place who knows what would have happened. Who knows where I would be or what I would be doing. It was not easy to come this far but I am so grateful to everyone who has supported me here. I could never have done it without you. I am blessed to have the family and friend support I have and and am once again looking forward to coming home.
Thank you Pittsburgh for the memories and life lessons you have taught me. Heartache is nothing to sneeze at but sometimes we have to have heartache to find happiness.
So I moved to a city that apparently has the worse weather on the planet. It is freezing cold and snow in the winter, really humid in the summer and everything else in between. It was this past Wednesday around 6pm that I noticed it started to rain, nothing new I know. However it started to rain harder and the wind started to pick up. I mean to the point where the rain was blowing horizontal. Almost white out conditions as it was raining so hard you could not see more then a quarter of a mile down the street. So I called everyone I know and told them how powerful and cool this was. Little did I know there would be a surprise waiting for me.
So I closed the store and put everything away. I went downstairs to use the bathroom before I went home. The carpet was wet which was odd to me. I opened the door to my textbook area which is our basement level only to find about 6 inches of standing water. We are talking every inch of the bottom floor was under water. I opened the elevator door and water came rushing out. My first instinct was crap, so I took off shoes and socks and go right in, I called a fellow employee who came back to the store and we were there till 9pm picking everything up off the ground.
Damage is there, carpet still wet as the I have called 3 different companies and I am hoping they come Monday. take that back, praying they come Monday. I am afraid of mold and the smell as I type this. Everybody has had the same problem so it is a more less get in line and wait.
So that is my story, before I leave something had to happen right. I guess this is my big send off, a flooded basement.
We have all seen objects shatter on the ground and break into many little pieces. Ever try to mend that broken glass? Have we ever tried to piece back the glass to resembles what it once was before? I am sure we have all tried to do this act or I am sure we have just swept up the mess and thrown it away. But what happens when that broken glass is your heart? How do you mend something you can not physically touch? There is no cure for a broken heart, no pill or medicine you can take to make the pain go away. They say only time is the best remedy and the healer of something so deep and so inside of you. I would agree that only time can heal such pain but how long do we have to wait? What happens to when the pain is so deep and is felt so strong. I imagine it in the way that there are layers of pain and I am waiting for each layer to heal. But as with anything that is layered it just takes that much longer to heal because each layer needs to heal before the next one can start the process.
Why does it take so long???????????????????????????????
Ever think of the future? Ever think of what you wish to do in your life before your time is up? Well for those of you who ponder what you want out of life, or for those of you who just need that little extra push then I really suggest you read the book "No Opportunity Wasted" written by Phil Keoghan who we all know as the host of the TV show the "Amazing Race."
This book is much more then creating a list, living life and doing what you have always wanted to do. It is about making time to make your dreams come true. It is not a self help book although I am sure it falls into that category. This is a book that after you read it will make you believe that anything is possible. (Well I hope so)
So in the spirit of this book I have created my own list of stuff I wish to accomplish in my lifetime. Now this is a starter list, your list can always change as you have new ideas, are inspired by people around you or have a new found hobby or activity.
Each chapter is a theme as I will outline below, next to the theme is my dream or my wish for what I wish to accomplish in my life. Please feel free to leave your list in the comment box as I would love to see what other people wish to make out of their lives.
Thank You,
Face your Fear:So I would have to say falling out of an airplane at 10,000 feet is pretty dam nerve racking, I also plan on bungee jumping (hands touching the water), I wish to white water raft a class 5 section of river and most of all Climb to the Top of Mt. Everest where countless people lose their lives trying every year!
Get Lost: I would say planting yourself in the middle of a city 2500 miles away from family and friends is what getting lost is all about. But I goal is join the peace corps and get lost in a foreign country helping people who need the help the most. I want to make a difference in this world and if that means getting lost on some far away remote piece of land, well then that is where you will find me.
Test your Limits:The only thing that limits us is our mind, our body and our soul. If we can conquer that then there is nothing to limit us. So what is really pushing the limit? for me it would to see how far the human body can go. There is a race called the badwater ultra marathon, what can test the human spirit more then a race of 135 miles in length that ranges from -238 feet in the Mojave desert all the way up to 8,000 feet on Mt. Whitney and to top it off it is run in July, the middle of summer. Imagine running where it is so hot that your shoes melt into the pavement yet it could be snowing at the finish line. That to me is testing your limits and pushing your body to the max. Also would love to do the iditarod sled dog race!!
Take a Leap of Faith:Asking someone to take a leap of faith I am sure is harder now to do then ever before. And I am about to do something that is a huge leap of faith. The journey I am about to embark on is something that will test not only my faith, my patience but my spirit as well. To leave this industry and this job is crazy to most, and I would agree it is. The course of events over the past few months has led me take a closer look at my life, faith has played a part in all of this and I feel now is the time for a change. I want nothing more then to leave my mark on this planet and help people along the way. I have a tremendous amount of compassion that has gotten me into trouble but I know deep down this is what I was put here to do. I found my true calling and and am eager to get started on this new chapter and take this giant leap of faith into the unknown.
Rediscover your childhood:This one I feel to be the hardest one of them all because what do we do from our childhood we can do now. There are lots of things we did when we were kids but what do we put down here? This one is still a work in progress so stop back for this one
Shed your Inhibitions/Express Yourself:So what do you do here? How can one dream of expressing themselves? I have had a few days to think of this and although I suppose it is not really a dream, I guess my goal would be to come out of my shell. I have been told I am to shy and I would agre, it takes a while for me to warm up to people, but once I do you will have a friend forever. Maybe take a dance class or just get out more and have fun. I guess the whole point of this is to enjoy life and what better way to do then getting out and meeting new people and exploring new places instead of being trapped in your shell.
Break New Ground: I guess breaking new ground can be any number of things, a new chapter in life, starting over in a new environment. But for me personally I would like build and run a camp for underprivileged and at risk youth. I would like this to maybe a outdoor charter school and in the summer months be a camp. Somewhere in the foothills next to a river.or near a beach. Something where kids can come and be who they are, enjoy themselves without all the negativity that goes all around us each day. A safe place for kids who need it most.
Aim for the Heart:This one is probably the most important to me because what I want to do is help kids. I have known this for sometime but like I had mentioned before it has only recently come to the surface. I hope to get my masters degree in education counseling and follow that with a PHD in social welfare or human services. I hope to join the peace corps and really make a difference on this planet. I hope to work with at risk youth and really make a difference in their lives. That is where my heart lies and that is what I am going to do. So as a final dream I guess you can say I wish to leave my mark on this planet and know that what I did was for the greater benefit of our youth. If I can change one life then the dream is complete. I also want to work in non-profits and work with people who suffer from scoliosis and kyphosis which is something I suffer from. Maybe open part of my camp to people with this disability as well.
So now you have read most of what I want, I encourage everyone who reads this over and to make out their own list and leave it in the comment field, you are never to old or to young to start living your dreams. And never ever let anyone tell you no or it is not good enough, only you can decide how your dreams play out.
So I have decided to do something that some might think is foolish, dumb or even crazy. But what I am about to write about and about to do is something that has been brewing inside of me I am sure for years but a certain chain of events over the past few months has made me realize that maybe I was put on this earth to do something different. I am walking away completely from a field of work that has blessed me with 11 years of employment. On June 26 I will say goodbye (will temp at a store to bridge the gap) to the College Bookstore Industry. For the past 11 years I have been working full time or pretty close to it, have only taken two real vacations that I can recall and have supported people other then myself both financially and emotionally that I think I at a point where I can honestly say I am burned out, tired and have hit the wall.
So what to do? Darn good question. I am looking at starting my masters in School Counseling come this fall, and I hope to get involved in social work or some sort of social welfare program. I would like to work with troubled youth who can really use a mentor and some guidance. I hope to eventually work in an outdoor camp setting or someday open my own outdoor youth facility. this is very different from what I have done and what I know. I am taking a gamble by leaving this position as we know jobs are few and far between but this is something that I feel very deeply about.
I have come to realize a lot of things over the past few months. I have gone through a lot of ups and downs and have realized that there is so much more to life then making money and killing yourself doing it. You are not living if you work 6 days a week, 60 hours a week. What is the point, you are always tired, never time for anything and before you know it you are a slave to your job. That is not living, you are just wasting time and possibly losing friends and family in the process.
So here I am, getting out of the rat race and going to try something new. It is all about living now as I feel I have not been doing that for sometime. Yes I will never be rich, but really how do you define being rich? You can never measure happiness on a stack of green bills because then you will never be happy. To often we equate status with money, one is better then the other by how much they make or what job they have. I say crap to that, you never judge somebody by what they do or what they make. It is what is inside that counts and way to often that is over looked and misjudged.
So as I embark on new adventures, I am looking forward the challenge, meeting new people and finding out who I really am. Wish me luck
So to this end, I say CHEERS and am very thankful for everything I have had. I am thankful for the support my family and friends have given because without their support I am sure none of this would have been possible. Have to admit it is a pretty crazy move!!!
For those of you just tuning in or those that read this you will know by now that I have wanted to go skydiving for some time. Now to the left you will see a picture of my self and Mark my jump. Instructor. Now I tandem jumped which means I was tied to him the whole time. He has been jumping since he was 16 so I figured to be in pretty good hands. Now I figured I would be jumping from some airport or some nice facility. However after driving two hours from my home here in Pittsburgh to outside Canton, Ohio I found myself turning down a dirt road next to an airstrip made of grass. Never judge a book by it's cover I have been told so here I am. After going through pre-flight instructions and watching counltess videos played on the TV of other jumpers I found myself taking pictures and walking out to a Cessna. (Small Airplane) There was another gentleman who had just come home from Iraq and his wife got him a gift certificate. Like most people there who were jumping they had family and friends, this gentleman and I were by ourselves. Funny how many times they asked if anybody would be joining me. Just kept telling them I was alone, always good when you are about to jump out of an airplane. Had to leave the good ol emergency contact number just in case. Sign the waiver so I won't sue them and I am off. We took off using this long strech of grass field. It was a bumpy take off with 5 people (including pilot) squished into this small plane. We climbed which seem to take forever and up until this point I will admit I was not nervous at all, not even scared. But of course the higher you are going and the small the ground is, you can't help but feel a bit aprehinsive. I mean you are climbing to 10,000 ft. there is a lake below you, some roads and this small target (airport) which oyu are aiming for. After reaching 10,000 feet, time to put on goggles and hat, get straped to my instructor and after the first team left it was our turn. Door is open, plane going 100's of miles per hour and you are supposed to fall away from the plane. Well since you are no in control, the inst. is you have no choice but to exit. So here we are now outside the plane wind in face free falling from 10,000 feet. This is the point you start to scream and wonder what the hell I just did. Because I had not tucked my legs back we started to spin a bit as we were falling, the inst. kicked my legs back and we were able to faltten out. Now I have my arms out like I am flying hurling towards the ground. cheeks flapping and ground approaching. The chute opend and we did not shoot up like you see in movies, made sure all was ok and at 5,000 feet we started our nice glide. It is very quiet up there and I can talk to the inst. I was able to grab the handles of the chute and could turn left and right, went out over the lake and headed towards the landing spot. Feet up and a nice butt slide on the ground to land and after about 10 min. I was back on earth.
After someone telling me this was a dumb idea, I had to do it. Any time somebody tells you what you believe is wrong, makes you want to do it all the more. This was the greatest experience I have had to date. Doing soemthing out of your comfort zone is hard, but sometimes we have to prove to others and ourselves that we can do it.
this is not the last time I will do this, it was fun and very self rewarding. I even got the Dvd if anybody ever wants to see it.
So moral of the story is Follow your dreams no matter what they are, you only live once so live your life to the fullest every day. Dream big and make things happen, only you can do that.
Wisdom and Compassion is something that does live in all of us. Some choose to dispense wisdom and show compassion while others just choose to keep things bottled up inside. I for one as most of you know choose to show compassion some might say to the extreme. This is not a bad thing, yet something that is great in moderation's. You show a little compassion and some people will stretch that to the max and before you know it you are being taken advantage of.
I have shown compassion and led with my heart for the past 8 years or so and although I feel I have done some good in this world, I can't help but feel also that i have been taken advantage of and in the end burned. This has led me to a great conversation that I had over this past weekend. An idea has been stuck in me that I can not shake and only think about more as time goes on.
Wisdom vs. Compassion or in my friends terms Wisdom BEFORE Compassion. Sounds simple right? But how much do we really think before we act? How much time do we really sit and think about what might happen if this happen, etc. I have realized now after the experiences I have gone through that I really need to think about things and find out what is really important. I felt that maybe compassion was enough but as I have come to find out, compassion can really only get you so far. We need the wisdom to see things before we take that leap. I am not one to talk about wisdom because it seems I have only used the compassion side in my life so far, but I can tell you that I am now taking a much closer look at things and using my best judgment and wisdom to see things through.
So in the end, please if you have compassion use it to the fullest extent you can. This world needs more compassion in it. However use caution and wisdom at the same time and in the end you will feel much better about yourself and the choices you have made. "Wisdom before Compassion" could be better said.
So I get these quotes once in a while on my facebook page. I wanted to share them with everybody as I feel they mean something and if you read them through you will see it is wisdom that each of us can take. Enjoy!!
... that you can only give away what you already have inside yourself.
True giving happens when you are overflowing from the inside, and cannot help but share. When there is so much love within you that it has to flow to others or you would burst open. There is no thinking involved, no willpower in such sharing. It just flows out. If you have to force yourself to be kind, to love, to feel compassion, you've missed the first step of filling in your own Self with these emotions.
... that humans learn only by trial and error, and that includes you.
You've got to live life, not think about it. Step into the midst of things, try and fail and learn and stand up again. The question is not whether you will or will not make mistakes - you will. The question is do you want to learn and grow, or do you want to shrink back and be stuck? Take that step you've been avoiding. You can succeed, or you can get feedback that it didn't work, but in either case you are sure to feel alive.
... that it's OK.
Just rest for a moment. It's OK. Yes, things are crazy, yes, the world is going nuts. Yet, deep underneath the stormy waves, there, in the core of your being, there is pure silence, pure love. And ... it's ... just ... OK.
... that to find out who you are becoming find stories that move your heart.
Just like a seed has an image of the tree in it, so does your heart have an image of who you are becoming. Look for stories in movies and books that resonate in your heart, and you will find glimpses of your possible futures. What is your favorite story?
... that it is time to finally forgive yourself.
You've carried the guilt, the shame for long enough. You've kept your wounds open for long enough. The time has to come to let go, to heal. Keep the lessons and let the pain heal. Yes, you know what we are talking about it.
... that faith is exactly what it takes to get through uncertainty.
Faith is not necessary when you know how things are going to work out, - that's knowledge. It's in the time of unknowing that having faith is what sees you through to the other side. Faith is what gives you strength. Faith is that light in your heart that keeps on shining even when it's all darkness outside. Now is the time to keep that faith alive!
... that every little part of you is magical.
Yes, even the parts that hurt, even the ones that are feeling disease right now. It's alright to love what is in pain. More than alright, that's exactly where your love is needed the most. So why not touch that part that hurts and smile at it, at yourself through it, and whisper: ''I love you.''
... that today is a big day for you.
Yes, today. Keep your eyes open for a message. It might come in a shape of a bird flying overhead, or a graffiti on a wall, or a phrase said by a passerby, or... Whatever shape it has, this message has been trying to reach you for years, and today is finally the day. Keep your senses open.
... that happiness has nothing to do with pleasure.
You feel pleasure when you want something and you get it. Or when you don't want something and you remove it. Pleasure is always relative. Happiness is absolute. Happiness is the understanding and acceptance of life as it is in this very moment as completely perfect, because every creation of God is perfect. The degree to which you do not accept life in all of the Divine forms is the degree to which you suffer.
... that what you are most afraid of is where your greatest rewards are.
If all you had to do was wish for something and you would have it, life would be pretty boring, wouldn't it? God placed barriers between us and what we want, so we can enjoy interesting and satisfying lives. God hid our biggest rewards behind the highest barriers - our deepest fears. God wants us to face our fears, and hold ground in their presence, and let them go, and that's how we get out biggest rewards. What are you most afraid of? Say it, just start by saying it.
... that every relationship rests on three legs: accepting, supporting and challenging.
That's really it, isn't it? You want your relationships to be grounded on accepting each other as you are. On supporting each other through the inevitable ups and downs. On challenging each other to become more, to grow, to flourish. Which one of these is the more difficult one for you, and how are you going to practice it in the next 24 hours?
... that it's your heart that knows who loves you, not your ears or eyes.
Listen to the words, and you can be fooled. Look at the actions, and you can be fooled. You are loved only when you feel loved. Who makes your heart soar now? Well, what are you waiting for
... that God has an important purpose for you, and made everything possible for you to succeed.
That's not to say it's an easy purpose, or a convenient one. It might very well seem hard or even impossible, but it only looks that way. The truth is that one day you will look back and see how all the pieces fit together. And how your life has been a complete and utter success.
... that you can only give away what you already have inside yourself.
True giving happens when you are overflowing from the inside, and cannot help but share. When there is so much love within you that it has to flow to others or you would burst open. There is no thinking involved, no willpower in such sharing. It just flows out. If you have to force yourself to be kind, to love, to feel compassion, you've missed the first step of filling in your own Self with these emotions.
To all who read, please let me know of any spelling mistakes, problems you see. Please take your red marker and mark up the page. I want to know of any problems so I can correct them Just leave your comments at the bottom and I will correct as I can.
For those of you that have seen Into the Wild, you can comprehend what I am about to say. For those of you who have not seen the movie or read the book, I suggest you do so as soon as possible. It is one of the saddest stories ever told, based on a true store and the picture you see to the left is the place where Christopher McCandless did eventually die. It is the story about a young man who wanted to see the world, he had the world handed to him and it was not enough. Parents who loved him and wanted nothing but the best for him, yet he was searching for something more. Something in his life was missing and he was in search of it. He died a tragic death at young age but if you look into his story you can can in no way fault him for what he did. He did what he felt he had to do in life and nothing or nobody was going to stop him. He had a top notch education, parents worked for NASA and by all accounts had the perfect life, but in all of that deep down he felt he needed to do something. And so he did. Now go watch the movie :o)
The point I am trying to convey is that no matter our upbringing or how we are raised, we are still able to do what we want and become who we want. there is nothing written that we have to be one way or another. So I am here to tell you who I am and give you some insight into what makes me tick. Not that there has ever been any confusion or anything but this experience of picking up and moving all the way to the eastern part of the United States I will admit has changed me to the core. I have a healthy appreciation for life and what it means. I realize now more then ever the importance of friends and family. I am sure a lot of us take this for granted and assume our spouses, family members and friends will always be there. It is true they will be but anything can change in a instant. I have found this out the hard away and as devastating as it might have been a month ago, I can look back and realize it was the best thing to happen. We get so wrapped up in our own lives and what we are doing we sometimes can not look beyond that. We never take the time to step back and ponder the decisions that probably need to be made. I have picked myself up, dusted myself off and realized after 11 years of selling expensive textbooks to students, this is something I no longer wish to pursue. I have seem to have grown a big heart over the years, maybe it has always been there but in the past 2-3 years or so it has come to the surface and become even more important over the course of the last few months.
I honestly can not pinpoint where this side of caring came from. Most if not all people I have come in contact with say I am nice, easy to get along with and generally do not have any problems (I hope) so why care? Why drop what I have been doing for 11 years and switch gears? I guess it is that cliche of I want to change the world. To many people seem so wrapped up in how much money they can make and how rich they can get. That is great and all and nothing wrong with that, but what about your neighbor about to lose their house? do you just brush them to the side as if they do not mean anything to anybody? More people on earth today need our help more then ever before. Jobs are being eliminated, economy is going in the tank and houses are being foreclosed at record pace. Does this make the individual any less important then yourself? because you have a comfortable lifestyle, how come you can't share? Sharing is something that is probably not in out nature, most of can look back on how that went with siblings and friends when we were growing up. Probably not to well, but I feel we have to share now more then ever before. Why am I talking about this, I guess because over the past few months I have discovered who I am and maybe what I mission in life is. I want to say this because this is how I feel, not much is going to change my mind and so if you like what I have to say great, I encourage to help out anybody anytime you can. If you don't like me, then that is fine to. better you know now then find out something later you don't like. I am never going to be rich off the bat, but I feel helping somebody in need now outweighs any future earnings down the road. I have submitted my application to the Peace corps and Americorps and am waiting to hear back. I look forward to sharing my thoughts, my heart and my compassion in helping somebody else turn their own life around. If I can do that to just one person then in my mind the mission has been accomplished.
I wish each and everyone of you who read this the best of luck in your own lives, dig deep and try to find that one that will make you happy an follow that idea no matter the outcome. You never know until you try and their is no such thing as failure. Don't let anybody tell you a idea is stupid because no ideas are stupid. Follow your heart and in the end follow your dreams.
**disclaimer** I wrote this with only 1 hour of sleep while sitting in empty airports waiting to go home to see my family, I am sorry if some ideas seem out there or don't make sense :)
